How to Manage a Guest List with Love and Boundaries

Who’s a must have?

Who’s a maybe?

Who’s a “let’s not?”

The joys of managing a guest list.

It can be a beautiful journey choosing how to celebrate your special day with loved ones but choosing who those loved ones will be can be downright stressful! We believe that a guest list is much more than a spreadsheet – it’s about who you want to share in one of the most memorable days of your lives and this can take some special thought. Sometimes this can lead to tension, so we are here to help you communicate what is best for you in a way that is effective…and graceful!

If you find yourself feeling pulled in different directions or in an overwhelming sea of A, B, and C lists, here are some of our tips for managing your guest list with love and reality!

1. Decide who and what is most important.

Venue and budget can play just as big of roles in guiding a wedding or event guest list as the heart and sometimes, they can even dictate it. 

Consider your priorities – is your venue a non-negotiable?  Do you need to stay within a set budget?  Or, are your attending guests most valuable in which developing a budget and finding a venue will be chosen after your dream list is created?  

2. Set mindful boundaries with gentleness.

It can be difficult not to succumb to pressure from others of who “needs” to be invited and family dynamics can make things even more complicated.  But it’s also okay to have a respectful and gentle discussion of what your vision is for the day and who you would like to celebrate with.  Or, suggest a separate event such as a pre or post-wedding lunch with mom’s work colleagues or dad’s golf buddies. If cost is an issue, ask if assistance with the extra guests could be offered.

Many times, we as wedding planners, help families navigate a guest list.  We understand how challenging it can be to meet everyone’s desires and help keep conversations productive and kind.

3. Know that tough decisions may need to be made.

Often, it is impossible to please and invite everyone you know.  It happens…a lot. The choice of whether to invite a long-distance cousin, work buddies that you don’t see outside of the office, and even kids can make anyone want to elope!  If you find this task difficult, think about who has had a meaningful impact on each of you and your relationship, who will support your marriage in the future, and who you want to celebrate such a special day with.  If questions arise, explain that venue and budget created restraints and that you’d love to celebrate with an intimate dinner or night out in the future.

Creating a guest list might not be the easiest wedding or event planning task, but it can truly make you reflect on who makes your lives meaningful and special.  And don’t forget!  We are always here to help!

For guest list management and wedding and event coordination in the Orlando and Central Florida area, please contact us at michele@michelebutlerevents.com or call or text (407) 765-4001.