So we’re not official family counselors, but we’ve certainly seen our fair share of family squabbles when it comes to weddings and events. It’s actually quite normal and we’ve become mindful of ways to keep the peace when it comes to family!
As many of us gather with family for Thanksgiving this week, we thought we’d share a few tips on what to do when mom tells you she isn’t happy with your wedding dress of choice, or when little brother says he dropping out of college, or even when Uncle Sal has a bit too much to drink and starts spilling family secrets.
So what do do when you dread the family get together for the holidays or for your event?
Need some inspiration on how? Here are 3 tips we have…
1. Have No Expectations
Oh those commercials. You know the ones..
Big brother surprising the family as they are all making breakfast together. The warm smiles as everyone arrives with perfectly prepared dishes to share. A beautifully set table with laughter and love being spread throughout the candlelight dinner.
Ahhh. The perfect family. The perfect holiday. The perfect event.
Although…what if some of the ones you love the most aren’t able to surprise you at the door? If that smile you put on when some one arrives is forced? And the kids are blowing out the candles while you dine on overcooked green beans someone brought?
You can handle it all 2 ways. You can be disappointed or you can embrace it. Having no expectations of how family “should” be can help in accepting “how yours is.”
And we’re here to tell you…no family is commercial perfect.
2. Set Your Determination
Do you not get along with a certain family member? Do you get tired of listening of hearing the same old stories? Are you afraid you’ll simply be bored out of your mind?
Before guests arrive or before you attend your event, make a determination!
What we mean by this is making a positive choice to set a goal for yourself, no one else. If there’s someone you don’t get along with, make a determination to compliment him or her on something, start a neutral conversation, or simply decide when and how to politely walk away if things get heated.
If conversation around family gets boring, make a determination to ask about new topics and show a sincere interest in others’ lives. You might be surprised at what you learn!
Whatever your determination is, keep it positive and light. Making a conscious choice to have a meaningful day can make all the difference in how it turns out.
3. Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First!
Well…we hope you don’t have to if you’re flying! We mean this in your own life!
Whether it’s for a family get together at Thanksgiving or your own summer destination wedding, make sure to take care of yourself first before giving everything to everyone else.
We know how tempting it can be to create the perfect Pinterest table for the holidays. We understand that you don’t want to rock the boat and create a scene at your wedding. And we know that you can also wear yourself out trying to impress or make others happy at the expense of your own.
So for those planning, hosting, and even attending, ensure you are well-rested, relaxed, and open-minded. Whether that means saying no to additional activities, cooking more food, or even taking some time for yourself with a brief walk outside after your holiday dinner, the more you take care of yourself, the better you will be in crazy situations.
And if all else fails?
These are just 3 ways we have learned how to help others cope positively with family challenges during events. We have, and can, help in many more ways!
If you’re planning an Orlando or Central Florida event or wedding and are having challenges with your family throughout your planning, call us at (407) 365-4729 to talk further. We can provide guidance and support for a smooth and joyful celebration!